


The Sailor Song

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Knights of the old republic references, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26270614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: What if Ben had sacrificed his memories to become Kylo Ren?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 6
Collections: Darkpilot Songbook





	The Sailor Song

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was after Ben Solo had taken the name Kylo Ren that he contacted Poe. He hadn’t had time, before, to say goodbye. Now he could, and hopefully he could explain everything.

Well, he explained the parts he could. That there had been a fire. That Voe, Tai and Hennix thought he did it, and so he’d run away. Even explaining it to Poe, he regretted seeing Poe’s eyes go wide, his face look so devastated. 

Poe was a good man. A strong man with a radiant smile and a heart that could fit the galaxy in there, it was so big. Ben wished he didn’t have to break it right now. 

”I’ll go with you,” Poe said. 

”You can’t. Not this time, Poe.” A sigh. “I want to keep you safe.”

”I’m not leaving you alone.”

”We’ll be all right. Poe,” and here, Kylo hoped that he could keep his voice steady. “Don’t doubt what you’re doing. Promise me.”

”I promise.”

There was a hint of that smile on Poe’s face, though it was sadder, more restrained. More broken.

”We’ll see each other again,” Kylo said. “I believe that.”

He could believe it even as the transmission ended. 

Even as he swore the pain shattered his heart into a million pieces. 

***

”I felt what you did,” Snoke said. They were on the Supremacy, in Snoke’s throne room; it was odd thinking of Snoke as a ruler, and not just a strange gardener. 

”I killed him,” Kylo said. “Voe too.” Even saying it out loud, it was enough to make him feel like the inside of his mouth tasted like acid. 

”Excellent,” Snoke said. “You made the right choice.”

Kylo nodded. He was with the Knights of Ren. Their leader. He was where he belonged. So why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like he was falling apart, and had to be stitched back together?

Snoke continued. “Unless you don’t think so?” There was something in his voice that seemed to be like a warning. 

It wasn’t just Voe, Tai and Hennix, though they hurt like everything. It wasn’t just them. It was his parents, who he’d left behind. His uncle, who had seen good, somehow, in Vader, but hadn’t given a damn about Ben, in the end. 

It was Poe, who he had been thinking about too, in between Tai, and his family, and everything. 

Everything hurt. 

”I want to be free of this pain,” he said to Snoke. 

”I know, child. I know. The Force has its ways. Altering memories...”

Did he want to alter these memories, every part? Did he want to forget? Kylo knew he was in so much pain that he’d do anything to make it stop. To be strong, like he was meant to be. 

”Make it go away.”

”I will, child. I will...”

Kylo could feel it. There was an image of a young man, in a flight suit — but who was that man? There was an image of a Wookiee — did he matter? Was he important?

He wanted to understand, to remember...but he couldn’t, even as Snoke took those memories away. 


End file.
